I suppose everyone has their fears. I would like to think that there is not much that I am afraid of but it turns out there was quite a bit. I have spent a large majority of my adult life making it a point to overcome those fears. Interestingly enough the less difficult ones have taken me a longer time to get to.
When I was a child I used to dance up a storm. My favorite was the Ghostbusters soundtrack. I would put it on and dance around the house in my little Ghostbusters t-shirt. There was really no technique or specific steps that were being adhered to but it was fun and that is all you care about when you were a child.
As I grew up and became more aware of what people around me thought of me, I suddenly was not as willing to spaz out to the Ghostbusters soundtrack or anything else for that matter. At some point though I realized that I really liked girls and that girls really liked dancing. I had a best of R&B CD that I used to put on in the living room when no one was home so that I could attempt to practice my moves. Unfortunately for me I did not have any proper instruction and I eventually became frustrated and gave up.
Not having the ability to dance became a very big issue for me. It was awkward to be a social functions where dancing was occurring. Sometimes even dates were awkward if there was a live band, DJ and/or a dance floor. In high school I specifically sought out girls that weren’t really into dancing. This seriously limited my options. This was such an issue for me in my teen years that I once even considered marrying a girl simply based on the fact that she hated dancing.
As I moved into adulthood dancing sort of became a non issue. I played guitar in bands so I was the one making the music. Eventually when my musical career came to an end I was able to pull off moves with girls without ever getting into a situation where dancing would be necessary.
As fate would have it, I ended up falling in love with and marrying a girl who was a prolific swing dancer. She never pressured me to dance. I would go to clubs with her and she would dance with random people. I never had a problem with it and I never got jealous. It was something that she loved to do and I was not going to stop her.
One day the idea hit me that it might be fun if I learned how to swing dance and surprised her with it. I went to a local dance studio in Las Vegas and met with a cute little swing dance girl named Diamond. Although I thought that this might be a crash and burn situation I was determined to at least give it a solid effort. I forked over the $1000 for 8 private lessons.
Now I don’t mean to gloat here but it turned out that I was a natural at dancing. At least I was at swing dancing. By the end of the 4th lesson I was so good that my teacher thought I was lying about never dancing before. I knew all of the basic moves in east coast swing and several advanced flourishes. Not only that but I could execute them smoothly.
Getting to the classes was a different issue all together. Since learning to dance was supposed to be a surprise to my wife I had to keep it a secret. The only time I could go to lessons though was right after work. I would go to see Diamond, dance with her for an hour and then show up at home hours late from work and smelling like stripper perfume. I would change into another shirt and blow cigarette smoke all over myself to get rid of the smell.
While I was never suspected on the being late front (I always said I had to work late) I did almost fuck myself over. I was going through my phone calendar with my wife looking over my shoulder and the word “dance” came up. I quickly said that that was the name of the room I had to be in when I worked late that day and it slid by!
Since I was getting good I thought it was time to take my evil plan to the next level. I contacted one of my wife’s friends through MySpace and explained everything to her. I asked her to call my wife and invite her to go out dancing. Then I told my wife that she was responsible for planning something for us to do on the upcoming weekend. Sure enough when the weekend came around my wife threw out 4 options one of which was dancing with her friend. Much to her surprise I said “Let’s go dancing with your friend, that sounds like fun.”
It was blues night at Boulder station casino in south Las Vegas and we were sitting at a table listening to the band play. I was practicing the dance moves silently to the music with my feet under the table. My wife was looking around for her friend who had already told me that she would not be able to show up. She was starting to get upset because she thought that she was stood up. Suddenly I looked across the room like I saw something. I got up and started walking. She followed me. I turned around and grabbed my wife’s hand, looked her in the eye, and told her that her friend was not coming and that I had not been working late. You could see the look of devastation in her eyes as her first thought was that I was cheating on her with her friend. Then I said I have been learning how to dance and I started dancing with her. We made it through about 4 bars of music before she was crying and we had to sit down at the table. We danced to one slow song later that night.
Now we go out swing dancing every single weekend. Every time I pick up new moves and I feel quite accomplished. I am told that my moves are smooth and fluid and no one believe that I have been dancing for such a short period of time. It feels great to finally get a hold of something like this and to be able to walk into a situation where there is dancing and hold my own. Most importantly it demonstrated to my wife how much I love her and gave us one more thing that we can enjoy with each other for the rest of our lives.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
I wish he would have killed him
Father Attacks Son's Killer In Courtroom Link
The father of a shooting victim was detained after he attacked his son's killer in the courtroom Monday. He has since been released by police, according to county officials.
Antonio Clifford, of Cincinnati, admitted in court that he robbed and shot 28-year-old Joshua Sweat, of Weirton, in a parking lot last year in downtown Steubenville.
After the plea, Mike Sweat, the victim's father, leaped and began to choke Clifford. Amid screams from both the victim's and the killer's families, it took dozens of law enforcement officers to control the crowd. Moments later, everyone was ordered out of the courtroom.
The outburst was in the wake of two other victim impact statements from the victim's mother and sister.
"I truly believe if you are ever set free to live in society, there will be another victim -- another family -- that is shattered," Ginger Sweat, the victim's mother, said to Clifford.
The defense and prosecution came to a plea agreement after deciding that, based on the evidence from the crime, Clifford did not initiate the robbery that took place.
Clifford, who faced the death penalty, was sentenced to 33 years to life in jail after he pleaded to aggravated murder, aggravated robbery and tampering with evidence.
The aggravated murder charge carried the most weight in the sentence. Clifford received 20 years on that charge.
Assistant Jefferson County Prosecutor Jane Keenan previously said Sweat came from Weirton to the empty parking lot in downtown Steubenville to meet with the three suspects for a drug deal.
When they met, police said the suspects robbed Sweat and Clifford shot and killed Sweat.
Clifford is one of three men charged in connection with the crime. Byron Johnson, of Steubenville, is serving a 15-year sentence after pleading guilty to murder.
Patrick Thurman, also of Steubenville, previously pleaded guilty to aggravated robbery and tampering with evidence.
The father of a shooting victim was detained after he attacked his son's killer in the courtroom Monday. He has since been released by police, according to county officials.
Antonio Clifford, of Cincinnati, admitted in court that he robbed and shot 28-year-old Joshua Sweat, of Weirton, in a parking lot last year in downtown Steubenville.
After the plea, Mike Sweat, the victim's father, leaped and began to choke Clifford. Amid screams from both the victim's and the killer's families, it took dozens of law enforcement officers to control the crowd. Moments later, everyone was ordered out of the courtroom.
The outburst was in the wake of two other victim impact statements from the victim's mother and sister.
"I truly believe if you are ever set free to live in society, there will be another victim -- another family -- that is shattered," Ginger Sweat, the victim's mother, said to Clifford.
The defense and prosecution came to a plea agreement after deciding that, based on the evidence from the crime, Clifford did not initiate the robbery that took place.
Clifford, who faced the death penalty, was sentenced to 33 years to life in jail after he pleaded to aggravated murder, aggravated robbery and tampering with evidence.
The aggravated murder charge carried the most weight in the sentence. Clifford received 20 years on that charge.
Assistant Jefferson County Prosecutor Jane Keenan previously said Sweat came from Weirton to the empty parking lot in downtown Steubenville to meet with the three suspects for a drug deal.
When they met, police said the suspects robbed Sweat and Clifford shot and killed Sweat.
Clifford is one of three men charged in connection with the crime. Byron Johnson, of Steubenville, is serving a 15-year sentence after pleading guilty to murder.
Patrick Thurman, also of Steubenville, previously pleaded guilty to aggravated robbery and tampering with evidence.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
The Personality Defect Test
Take the test Click here
Your Score: Smartass
You are 100% Rational, 71% Extroverted, 57% Brutal, and 85% Arrogant.
You are the Smartass! You are rational, extroverted, brutal, and arrogant. In fact, you could very well be the anti-Christ, as you are almost the exact opposite of everything Jesus was supposed to be. While Jesus says love your enemy, you say love beating the crap out of your enemy. While Jesus raises the dead, you raise hell. While Jesus walks on water, you tend to sink. You probably consider people who are emotional and gentle to be big pussies who are obviously in lesser stature than you. You have many flaws, despite your seeming intelligence and cool-headedness. For instance, you aren't very nice. In fact, you're probably an asshole. And you are conceited and self-centered. Not only that, but you are very loud and vocal about all this, seeing as how you are extroverted. There is no better way to describe you than as a "smartass", I'm afraid. Perhaps just "ass" would do, too. But that's a little less literary and descriptive. At any rate, your main personality defect is the fact that you are self-centered, mean, uncaring, and brutally logical.
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.
4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.
Compatibility:
Your exact opposite is the Emo Kid.
Your Score: Smartass
You are 100% Rational, 71% Extroverted, 57% Brutal, and 85% Arrogant.
You are the Smartass! You are rational, extroverted, brutal, and arrogant. In fact, you could very well be the anti-Christ, as you are almost the exact opposite of everything Jesus was supposed to be. While Jesus says love your enemy, you say love beating the crap out of your enemy. While Jesus raises the dead, you raise hell. While Jesus walks on water, you tend to sink. You probably consider people who are emotional and gentle to be big pussies who are obviously in lesser stature than you. You have many flaws, despite your seeming intelligence and cool-headedness. For instance, you aren't very nice. In fact, you're probably an asshole. And you are conceited and self-centered. Not only that, but you are very loud and vocal about all this, seeing as how you are extroverted. There is no better way to describe you than as a "smartass", I'm afraid. Perhaps just "ass" would do, too. But that's a little less literary and descriptive. At any rate, your main personality defect is the fact that you are self-centered, mean, uncaring, and brutally logical.
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.
4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.
Compatibility:
Your exact opposite is the Emo Kid.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
A different take on Gas prices!!!
I am in favor of high gas prices. I am sick of hearing people whine about high gas prices. I wish that gas prices were higher. I would like to see gas around $5-6 per gallon. Here are my reasons.
Reason #1- Less cars on the road! High gas prices will stop a certain portion of people from driving. It will force people to use public transportation or ride a bicycle. This may benefit some of those fat and lazy assholes that are always cutting people off. It will keep people with old cars that can’t afford to pass emissions from being able to afford gas as well. This will have the added benefit of cleaner air in our cities. Even those that still could afford to drive would likely drive less and find alternatives when they were available.
Reason #2- It seems like poor people are shitty drivers. They drive crappy cars and they just don’t care. I am always getting cut off by some piece of crap pinto that is blowing black smoke out of the exhaust pipe. In many cases uneducated equals shitty job equals poor pay equals poor person equals shitty driver. High gas prices would take the ability to drive away from the poor and the uneducated. This would be a huge bonus to the safety of our roadways. These people are the same people that think that they can lower gas prices by circulating emails telling people not to buy gas on Tuesdays. OK idiots, so then everyone just gets their gas on Mondays or Wednesdays instead!?!? The same amount of money will be spent throughout the week anyways. Even though it makes no difference I always make sure to buy some gas on one of those boycott days whether I need it or not.
Reason #3- Let’s punish those jackasses that buy an SUV the size of three highway lanes. If you want to drive a car that gets 3 miles to the gallon so that you can look like your favorite rap star, then that is fine. But you will have to get a second job to be able to afford it. Less SUVs means a cleaner environment.
Reason #4- If gas prices get high enough and enough people seriously can’t afford to buy gas then we will be forced to look for alternative energy sources. If we are not getting all of our energy from other countries then there will be no need for us to send out troops to those countries to be involved in their affairs.
Reason #5- Because driving and low gas prices are not your right. All of you red blooded American rednecks out there need to understand that this is a world economy now. We are not self sufficient. If the stock market takes a dive in china, then we get affected. If there is a problem with oil production, supply and demand will shoot up the price. So you have some options. Buy a more fuel efficient car, ride a bike, take public transportation. Your hard work and intelligence put you in the place that you are currently at in life. You made it happen, it did not happen to you. If you find that you cannot afford to do certain things that you want to do, then you either need to get a second job, get a better job, or shut the fuck up and accept your lot in life to be mediocre.
I have absolutely no issues with paying extra for the “privilege” of driving. In fact I think that this spike in gas prices is long overdue. You do not get to have everything in life handed to you. It takes away from those of us who have busted our asses our whole life to get to where we are. Your time is over, ours have come, and gas prices are just the start.
Reason #1- Less cars on the road! High gas prices will stop a certain portion of people from driving. It will force people to use public transportation or ride a bicycle. This may benefit some of those fat and lazy assholes that are always cutting people off. It will keep people with old cars that can’t afford to pass emissions from being able to afford gas as well. This will have the added benefit of cleaner air in our cities. Even those that still could afford to drive would likely drive less and find alternatives when they were available.
Reason #2- It seems like poor people are shitty drivers. They drive crappy cars and they just don’t care. I am always getting cut off by some piece of crap pinto that is blowing black smoke out of the exhaust pipe. In many cases uneducated equals shitty job equals poor pay equals poor person equals shitty driver. High gas prices would take the ability to drive away from the poor and the uneducated. This would be a huge bonus to the safety of our roadways. These people are the same people that think that they can lower gas prices by circulating emails telling people not to buy gas on Tuesdays. OK idiots, so then everyone just gets their gas on Mondays or Wednesdays instead!?!? The same amount of money will be spent throughout the week anyways. Even though it makes no difference I always make sure to buy some gas on one of those boycott days whether I need it or not.
Reason #3- Let’s punish those jackasses that buy an SUV the size of three highway lanes. If you want to drive a car that gets 3 miles to the gallon so that you can look like your favorite rap star, then that is fine. But you will have to get a second job to be able to afford it. Less SUVs means a cleaner environment.
Reason #4- If gas prices get high enough and enough people seriously can’t afford to buy gas then we will be forced to look for alternative energy sources. If we are not getting all of our energy from other countries then there will be no need for us to send out troops to those countries to be involved in their affairs.
Reason #5- Because driving and low gas prices are not your right. All of you red blooded American rednecks out there need to understand that this is a world economy now. We are not self sufficient. If the stock market takes a dive in china, then we get affected. If there is a problem with oil production, supply and demand will shoot up the price. So you have some options. Buy a more fuel efficient car, ride a bike, take public transportation. Your hard work and intelligence put you in the place that you are currently at in life. You made it happen, it did not happen to you. If you find that you cannot afford to do certain things that you want to do, then you either need to get a second job, get a better job, or shut the fuck up and accept your lot in life to be mediocre.
I have absolutely no issues with paying extra for the “privilege” of driving. In fact I think that this spike in gas prices is long overdue. You do not get to have everything in life handed to you. It takes away from those of us who have busted our asses our whole life to get to where we are. Your time is over, ours have come, and gas prices are just the start.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Worst Date ever
There are a lot of interesting characters in Los Angeles. If you spend any significant amount of time there you are pretty much guaranteed to cross paths with many of them. What I want to tell you about though is a date I had with someone who would probably qualify as the most psychotic girl in the world
I was sitting in a coffee shop in Redondo Beach, doing homework, with headphones on. It was pretty obvious by my body language that I was not interested in conversation and that I did not want to be bothered by anyone. A cute little red head that I had noticed on the way in came and sat next to me, looked me in the eye, smiled and with a cheerful yet chirping voice said “hi!” Any other time I might have decided to run game on her, but I was not interested in anyone’s company so I looked directly at her and in a not so polite tone said “go away!” She looked at me and said “my name is Shannon.” I said, “look I am really busy right now and I don’t have time to talk to you.” She said “no problem, take my phone number and call me when you have time.” OK then, that was pretty cool. I tucked the phone number in my wallet for a rainy day.
A few weeks later while on a dry spell I decided to call Shannon up and take her out for sushi, then take her to my place and have sex with her. We went to sushi, had a great conversation and tons of sake. She seemed pretty cool until after I picked up the bill and she started complaining that she couldn’t believe that I only spent $50 on her. This is actually fairly common in Los Angeles. Many girls are just looking for guys to spend money on them whether or not they have an intention to sleep with him, or are even interested in him at all. I promptly told her that I wasn’t spending $50 on her and demanded that she coughed up $25 for her half. She stormed out of the restaurant and I walked down to Hermosa Beach to have some drinks with my friends.
A couple of weeks later I was hanging out at my house in Torrance when my cell phone rang. It was Shannon. She said she was sorry for being such a bitch and that she wanted to come over. Since it was 1 am I figured that this sounded like a promising booty call. She came over, and just wanted to talk After an hour, much to her dismay I kicked her out. She called me a week later and said that she wanted to go out for drinks. I told her I was short on money and she said she was buying. Well if nothing else, I couldn’t say no to free drinks. I went and had drinks with her, we talked all night, she kissed me good night and we parted ways.
When I lived in Los Angeles I had a fairly effective rule for not getting bled dry by gold diggers. If I didn’t get laid by the third date then I didn’t call them back. See I don’t really mind spending money on a girl…………. as long as I am getting laid. Shannon tried calling me repeatedly over the next month. I never picked up the phone when she called and I never returned her messages. Finally after a month I got a message from her that went something like this.
“ I know why you aren’t calling me, your one of those three date guys, your not calling me because I didn’t fuck you, what do you want, you want me to suck your cock, you wanna fuck in public, you want me to bring a friend right now, I thought we were more than that, but fine, if that is all you want, then come fuck me right now, fuck me anyway you want, lets fuck, lets do it, if that makes you happy, call me and we will fuck tonight, you fucking lousy asshole, come over here and fuck me right goddamn now!!!”
This message went on for about 6 minutes. There were only two logical responses to a voicemail like this. The first one is to play it for all of your friends. The second is to drive over to the girl’s house and fuck her. I opted to act on both options.
I showed up at Shannon’s house, walked in, and started to take off her shirt. She stopped me and asked if we could go out for a drink first. I sighed and said fine. We went to a bar about 4 miles down the road on Pacific Coast Highway. After about 3 pitchers of beer she was starting to get really shitty and emotional. She started crying, something about a love in a past life or some weird shit like that. I was so turned off by her that I told her to get in the car. I was just going to take her home and accept my losses.
While driving her home she said “you’re not going to fuck me, are you?” I looked at her and said, “anything is possible.” Then she said “pull over at this gas station, I need cigarettes.” I told her that I was not pulling over, that she could go out and get cigarettes after I dropped her off at home. At this point she started beating her fist and her head on the dash of the car while screaming “PULL OVER THE FUCKING CAR RIGHT NOW AND LET ME GET SOME FUCKING CIGARRETTES” over and over again. So I pulled that car over and waited in the parking lot while she went into the store.
My first inclination after 5 minutes of waiting was that I should just leave this bitch here. Los Angeles is pretty big, I could probably successfully dodge her without even putting any real effort into it. Then I saw some commotion going on in the store. I looked up as Shannon came bursting through the front door of the gas station with a carton of Marlboros tucked under one arm, a bag of chips under the other and a 40oz of mickey’s in each hand. The attendant was chasing her with a broom in his hand and looked like he was ready to clock her if he got close enough. She started screaming at me to start the car. I stood there frozen, this was the last thing I would have ever expected. As she approached the car she caught her foot on a curb and hit the ground like a ton of bricks. The beer bottles shattered and glass was sticking out of her exposed skin, Sun chips were sticking to her bloody chest and cigarettes were scattered all over the ground.
My first inclination was shock and then, I started laughing uncontrollably. I could not believe how dumb this girl was. The gas station attendant approached me as if though I might be a threat. I looked at him and asked him how much all of that stuff was. He said about $30. I paid him the $30. I figured that if he called the cops I could potentially be pegged as an acomplis or a getaway driver.
I picked Shannon up off of the ground and took her into the bathroom to clean her up the best I could. I got a bunch of paper towels to put in the seat of my car to try to keep the blood and beer off. I drove her home. I was so happy to finally get rid of her. She could barely walk so I helped her up to her doorstep and opened her front door for her. She grabbed me and stuck her tongue down my throat. I almost puked. I pushed her off of me and started to walk away. As I was heading down the walk she yelled “wait, aren’t you going to fuck me?” I turned around and looked at her, all covered in beer and blood with her clothes torn up and her hair matted together. Then I said, “I’ll call you” and I walked away. I am sure to this day she still wonders why guys always seem to say I’ll call you and then never do!
I was sitting in a coffee shop in Redondo Beach, doing homework, with headphones on. It was pretty obvious by my body language that I was not interested in conversation and that I did not want to be bothered by anyone. A cute little red head that I had noticed on the way in came and sat next to me, looked me in the eye, smiled and with a cheerful yet chirping voice said “hi!” Any other time I might have decided to run game on her, but I was not interested in anyone’s company so I looked directly at her and in a not so polite tone said “go away!” She looked at me and said “my name is Shannon.” I said, “look I am really busy right now and I don’t have time to talk to you.” She said “no problem, take my phone number and call me when you have time.” OK then, that was pretty cool. I tucked the phone number in my wallet for a rainy day.
A few weeks later while on a dry spell I decided to call Shannon up and take her out for sushi, then take her to my place and have sex with her. We went to sushi, had a great conversation and tons of sake. She seemed pretty cool until after I picked up the bill and she started complaining that she couldn’t believe that I only spent $50 on her. This is actually fairly common in Los Angeles. Many girls are just looking for guys to spend money on them whether or not they have an intention to sleep with him, or are even interested in him at all. I promptly told her that I wasn’t spending $50 on her and demanded that she coughed up $25 for her half. She stormed out of the restaurant and I walked down to Hermosa Beach to have some drinks with my friends.
A couple of weeks later I was hanging out at my house in Torrance when my cell phone rang. It was Shannon. She said she was sorry for being such a bitch and that she wanted to come over. Since it was 1 am I figured that this sounded like a promising booty call. She came over, and just wanted to talk After an hour, much to her dismay I kicked her out. She called me a week later and said that she wanted to go out for drinks. I told her I was short on money and she said she was buying. Well if nothing else, I couldn’t say no to free drinks. I went and had drinks with her, we talked all night, she kissed me good night and we parted ways.
When I lived in Los Angeles I had a fairly effective rule for not getting bled dry by gold diggers. If I didn’t get laid by the third date then I didn’t call them back. See I don’t really mind spending money on a girl…………. as long as I am getting laid. Shannon tried calling me repeatedly over the next month. I never picked up the phone when she called and I never returned her messages. Finally after a month I got a message from her that went something like this.
“ I know why you aren’t calling me, your one of those three date guys, your not calling me because I didn’t fuck you, what do you want, you want me to suck your cock, you wanna fuck in public, you want me to bring a friend right now, I thought we were more than that, but fine, if that is all you want, then come fuck me right now, fuck me anyway you want, lets fuck, lets do it, if that makes you happy, call me and we will fuck tonight, you fucking lousy asshole, come over here and fuck me right goddamn now!!!”
This message went on for about 6 minutes. There were only two logical responses to a voicemail like this. The first one is to play it for all of your friends. The second is to drive over to the girl’s house and fuck her. I opted to act on both options.
I showed up at Shannon’s house, walked in, and started to take off her shirt. She stopped me and asked if we could go out for a drink first. I sighed and said fine. We went to a bar about 4 miles down the road on Pacific Coast Highway. After about 3 pitchers of beer she was starting to get really shitty and emotional. She started crying, something about a love in a past life or some weird shit like that. I was so turned off by her that I told her to get in the car. I was just going to take her home and accept my losses.
While driving her home she said “you’re not going to fuck me, are you?” I looked at her and said, “anything is possible.” Then she said “pull over at this gas station, I need cigarettes.” I told her that I was not pulling over, that she could go out and get cigarettes after I dropped her off at home. At this point she started beating her fist and her head on the dash of the car while screaming “PULL OVER THE FUCKING CAR RIGHT NOW AND LET ME GET SOME FUCKING CIGARRETTES” over and over again. So I pulled that car over and waited in the parking lot while she went into the store.
My first inclination after 5 minutes of waiting was that I should just leave this bitch here. Los Angeles is pretty big, I could probably successfully dodge her without even putting any real effort into it. Then I saw some commotion going on in the store. I looked up as Shannon came bursting through the front door of the gas station with a carton of Marlboros tucked under one arm, a bag of chips under the other and a 40oz of mickey’s in each hand. The attendant was chasing her with a broom in his hand and looked like he was ready to clock her if he got close enough. She started screaming at me to start the car. I stood there frozen, this was the last thing I would have ever expected. As she approached the car she caught her foot on a curb and hit the ground like a ton of bricks. The beer bottles shattered and glass was sticking out of her exposed skin, Sun chips were sticking to her bloody chest and cigarettes were scattered all over the ground.
My first inclination was shock and then, I started laughing uncontrollably. I could not believe how dumb this girl was. The gas station attendant approached me as if though I might be a threat. I looked at him and asked him how much all of that stuff was. He said about $30. I paid him the $30. I figured that if he called the cops I could potentially be pegged as an acomplis or a getaway driver.
I picked Shannon up off of the ground and took her into the bathroom to clean her up the best I could. I got a bunch of paper towels to put in the seat of my car to try to keep the blood and beer off. I drove her home. I was so happy to finally get rid of her. She could barely walk so I helped her up to her doorstep and opened her front door for her. She grabbed me and stuck her tongue down my throat. I almost puked. I pushed her off of me and started to walk away. As I was heading down the walk she yelled “wait, aren’t you going to fuck me?” I turned around and looked at her, all covered in beer and blood with her clothes torn up and her hair matted together. Then I said, “I’ll call you” and I walked away. I am sure to this day she still wonders why guys always seem to say I’ll call you and then never do!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Sorry Ladies, I'm Taken
It is difficult to get an appropriate workout when your legs don’t work properly. You are pretty much limited to a couple of cardiovascular exercises and a few weight machines. It has been my dream since I was a teenager to have a perfect body part. I gave up on a perfect body a long time ago and decided that I would settle for just one part. I decided that part would be my abs. So I work on the elliptical machine about 5 times a week. I work through excruciating pain to build endurance in my weak legs and lungs. Then I do as many sit-ups as I can and some light arm workouts. Well I still do not have those perfect abs with that shiny six pack glistening on my stomach but I did have a major breakthrough today that made me feel like I was well on my way.
I have modified my diet. I really try to watch what I eat. I keep sweets away from me because I cannot resist. I eat a lot of Subway when I don’t have time to prepare my own meals and I love Jamba juice. So what is this amazing breakthrough you might ask? Well this morning, after breakfast, as I was getting ready for work……… My pants fell off! That’s right; I am to skinny for my pants. There is about an extra 6-7 inches in there. So now I either need a belt, new pants or a permanent boner in order to hold them up. This is very exciting. (The pants, not the permanent boner.) So this is the portion were I have to stick to the plan and keep moving forward. This is the part where I usually get lazy and slack off, eat an ice cream cone, and order a double serving from Chipotle. Not this time though. I will have those perfect shiny abs by summer, then maybe I will decide to develop another perfect body part:)
I have modified my diet. I really try to watch what I eat. I keep sweets away from me because I cannot resist. I eat a lot of Subway when I don’t have time to prepare my own meals and I love Jamba juice. So what is this amazing breakthrough you might ask? Well this morning, after breakfast, as I was getting ready for work……… My pants fell off! That’s right; I am to skinny for my pants. There is about an extra 6-7 inches in there. So now I either need a belt, new pants or a permanent boner in order to hold them up. This is very exciting. (The pants, not the permanent boner.) So this is the portion were I have to stick to the plan and keep moving forward. This is the part where I usually get lazy and slack off, eat an ice cream cone, and order a double serving from Chipotle. Not this time though. I will have those perfect shiny abs by summer, then maybe I will decide to develop another perfect body part:)
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Don Imus is a "UnNappy Headed White Non Ho!"
UPDATE!!!! CBS FIRED DON IMUS ON 4/12/07 OVER HIS COMMENTS CONCERNING THE RUTGERS BASKETBALL TEAM. AL SHARPTEN IS CALLING THIS A VICTORY AGAINST HATEFUL SPEECH AND CLAIMS THAT THE FIGHT WILL NOT STOP HERE. I AM PATIENTLY AWAITING THE RALLY TO GATHER AND BURN ALL OF THE RAP CDS. ALSO I AM WAITING FOR LUDACRIS TO HAVE HIS GRAMMY TAKEN AWAY. SOMEONE LET ME KNOW WHEN ALL OF THIS HAPPENS SO THE HYPOCRISY CAN END!
I know that I am about to tread on some very dangerous turf here so I will try to be as careful as possible. I have spent the last few days trying to figure out how feel about the whole Don Imus situation. First and foremost I need to clarify some things that many people think have no distinction. I cannot stand Don Imus. It is not because I think that he is vulgar, I just don’t think that he is funny. Howard Stern on the other hand is a similar type of entertainment and I do find him funny. Howard Stern has said some things that are equally offensive towards African Americans but he gets away with it because his co host Robin Quivers is an African American woman. Not to say that Howard hasn’t had his fair share of experiences with racy comments but it does imply a double standard that can be measured by looking at an entertainer like Ludicris winning an Grammy for using language similar if not worse than that of what Don Imus used.
So my initial gut shot reaction here is to turn to the African American community and especially the Rutgers Basketball team, Al Sharpton, and Jesse Jackson, and say “FUCKING GET OVER IT!” Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are calling for the termination of Don Imus over his comments on his early morning radio show where he referred to the Rutgers Basketball team as “nappy headed ho’s.” Sharpton and Jackson are, of course, outraged! After the plight of the African Americans in this country I feel that I can never be in a place to understand the discrimination and pressures that they go through on a day to day basis. What I am having a problem with is that it is OK for black rappers to say horrible things about women, minorities and even whites in commercial songs but when Don Imus does it he is supposed to be fired!
Our unwillingness to hold black people responsible for their actions and the intensely ingrained political correctness that has become so prevalent in our society keeps us from giving social attention to even the worst atrocities in the world if they are committed by black people or especially a black government. I am sure that the police target and treat African Americans much worse than they do to whites. I am sure that there is discrimination that I don’t get a chance to see because I am a white male. The answer though is to eliminate that discrimination not reverse it. If it is socially acceptable for an African American to say “Niggers and Ho’s” then it should be socially acceptable for white people to say it to.
The Rutgers basketball team says that Don Imus “tainted their moment of glory.” Even Barack Obama chimed in with an attempt to pick up some African American voters for his 2008 presidential bid by saying "I've got two young daughters who I hope will be athletes. And, you know, the notion that somehow they would be degraded and insulted, and that that would pass as humor, and that NBC would be running that over the public airwaves I think is atrocious”
Anyone that went though the public school systems has been called names and degraded. Is it any worse if you are one race over the other? Should we protect some from being called names because they are to fragile but not protect others because they can probably take it? The answer is no. If you live in a country where there is free speech and you are in any way some sort of public figure you are subject to praise, ridicule, and jokes and it doesn’t matter what race you are from. If any of these Rutgers basketball players own a Rap CD from Dr Dre, Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, or any other rappers that use these terms in a derogatory way, then they have no right to be upset over the comments made by Don Imus. This is what is called “Reverse or Selective discrimination.” Now with that being said, there is really no need to make a public statement by firing Don Imus. Let the public decide. If there are enough people that think he is funny and enough sponsors willing to support the show then the show should go on. If no one thinks he is funny and no one listens to him then the show will tank and come off of the air. That is the joy of living in a free market and more importantly, in a free country. With that I will leave you with the lyrics to the chorus of my favorite Snoop Dogg song
So all my bitches and my niggaz and my niggaz and my bitches
Wave your motherfuckin hands in the air
And if you don't give a shit
Like we don't give a shit
Wave your motherfuckin fingers in the air
I know that I am about to tread on some very dangerous turf here so I will try to be as careful as possible. I have spent the last few days trying to figure out how feel about the whole Don Imus situation. First and foremost I need to clarify some things that many people think have no distinction. I cannot stand Don Imus. It is not because I think that he is vulgar, I just don’t think that he is funny. Howard Stern on the other hand is a similar type of entertainment and I do find him funny. Howard Stern has said some things that are equally offensive towards African Americans but he gets away with it because his co host Robin Quivers is an African American woman. Not to say that Howard hasn’t had his fair share of experiences with racy comments but it does imply a double standard that can be measured by looking at an entertainer like Ludicris winning an Grammy for using language similar if not worse than that of what Don Imus used.
So my initial gut shot reaction here is to turn to the African American community and especially the Rutgers Basketball team, Al Sharpton, and Jesse Jackson, and say “FUCKING GET OVER IT!” Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are calling for the termination of Don Imus over his comments on his early morning radio show where he referred to the Rutgers Basketball team as “nappy headed ho’s.” Sharpton and Jackson are, of course, outraged! After the plight of the African Americans in this country I feel that I can never be in a place to understand the discrimination and pressures that they go through on a day to day basis. What I am having a problem with is that it is OK for black rappers to say horrible things about women, minorities and even whites in commercial songs but when Don Imus does it he is supposed to be fired!
Our unwillingness to hold black people responsible for their actions and the intensely ingrained political correctness that has become so prevalent in our society keeps us from giving social attention to even the worst atrocities in the world if they are committed by black people or especially a black government. I am sure that the police target and treat African Americans much worse than they do to whites. I am sure that there is discrimination that I don’t get a chance to see because I am a white male. The answer though is to eliminate that discrimination not reverse it. If it is socially acceptable for an African American to say “Niggers and Ho’s” then it should be socially acceptable for white people to say it to.
The Rutgers basketball team says that Don Imus “tainted their moment of glory.” Even Barack Obama chimed in with an attempt to pick up some African American voters for his 2008 presidential bid by saying "I've got two young daughters who I hope will be athletes. And, you know, the notion that somehow they would be degraded and insulted, and that that would pass as humor, and that NBC would be running that over the public airwaves I think is atrocious”
Anyone that went though the public school systems has been called names and degraded. Is it any worse if you are one race over the other? Should we protect some from being called names because they are to fragile but not protect others because they can probably take it? The answer is no. If you live in a country where there is free speech and you are in any way some sort of public figure you are subject to praise, ridicule, and jokes and it doesn’t matter what race you are from. If any of these Rutgers basketball players own a Rap CD from Dr Dre, Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, or any other rappers that use these terms in a derogatory way, then they have no right to be upset over the comments made by Don Imus. This is what is called “Reverse or Selective discrimination.” Now with that being said, there is really no need to make a public statement by firing Don Imus. Let the public decide. If there are enough people that think he is funny and enough sponsors willing to support the show then the show should go on. If no one thinks he is funny and no one listens to him then the show will tank and come off of the air. That is the joy of living in a free market and more importantly, in a free country. With that I will leave you with the lyrics to the chorus of my favorite Snoop Dogg song
So all my bitches and my niggaz and my niggaz and my bitches
Wave your motherfuckin hands in the air
And if you don't give a shit
Like we don't give a shit
Wave your motherfuckin fingers in the air
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